Late Night and Hump Days

It's Wednesday morning and 12:43AM, and I was just stricken with the privilege of knowing that I do not have to go into lab tomorrow morning. I should be excited.

I've been seeking out some final camaraderie with the people I'm graduating with; it can be difficult to send text messages out at the stake of knowing that the last respond could be a good bye. I'm not so much upset at the prospect of my college years being over (as I know that they are not); rather, I find myself sad that there are so many opportunities next semester that I will be missing out on because I have to set sail.

For instance, today I went to the Latin Honors ceremony. I was lonely at first there with no where to sit, contemplating whether I should have just left, and this really nice guy from one of my classes last semester, a philosophy major, let me sit at his table of fellow philosophy majors. To see some professors from my courses in that realm at the ceremony reminded me of how disappointing it is that I can't register for some of the courses that sound exciting next semester.

Additionally, I got to speak to a professor who I'm not quite sure remembers me, but I remember him and have been planning to message him for a few weeks now talking about continuing studies scholarships. Granted, he was talking about continuing studies scholarships with the philosophy majors there in the same way I envisioned he and I talking.

I also feel like, while still a privilege, listening to him talk was a slap in the face reminding me that I should have pursued the major. Oh well. Too late.

Well, I haven't had time to officially speculate on everything yet, but for now I'm living in the moment. Tomorrow I need to complete my Death and Dying exam which should in theory take all day as usual. I also have finished my paper on my ideal therapist. I'll probably finish that first tomorrow, which marks my completion of my capstone in the Evolution of Psychotherapy.

Again, I feel excited about nothing. I am just here as a floating ghost.

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